I want to remind you (and me) that we can use the same skills we already know to push through fear when we really need to…whether we’re learning new computer skills, changing jobs, navigating a drive to a new place, or attempting anything else that’s new to us.
Here’s a little secret up front: You have to talk to yourself! Ideally, this would be in private with no one listening except maybe your cat or dog…they understand completely. Here’s some suggestions for what to ask yourself and what to answer:
Q: Am I smart enough to do this?
- Lucy can do this
- I think I’m probably as capable of learning this as Lucy
- Lots of people manage to learn, do, or accomplish this
- I can get answers and help if I need them
- If I were really incapable, I would not be attempting this
Q: What else have I attempted that compares to this, and succeeded?
- I’ve learned to do similar things to this before
- I can concentrate and follow directions
- I feel good about myself when I conquer something new
- Nobody knows how to do it until they do it
Q: How can I get support?
- Online, phone, and live help is available
- I can get help with the first step, or all the steps
- I can trade skill trainings with a friend
Q: What am I confused about?
- Do I know what I actually want to do?
- Do I have all the instructions I need?
- Am I afraid of looking dumb?
Q: How can I move in the direction?
- What one action can I take to start the process moving
- I’ll start the process by myself, and get help when I need it
- What is my first step?
All of us have a fear of failure, a fear of not good enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough, not capable enough. These are fears that are natural to all of us.
People who accomplish amazing things have the ability to motivate themselves to keep trying, and to persist until they are absolutely sure they can’t accomplish a difficult task, or they do it! Even then, people who go on to do great things, push through fear, and continue…or they find help to do what they want to do. Becoming one of these people is a matter of building an attitude of persistence and faith in oneself, knowing that the worst case scenario may just be getting help if you can’t do it alone. Fear can’t exist where faith is present.
It’s OK to fail, especially if we learn something in the process, and if we continue trying. A new attitude is built on realizing some fear may arise, making a conscious choice to push through the fear, and continuing to a point of accomplishment, or pride in oneself for giving it our best.
Don’t let the two F’s keep you stuck. Fear and frustration can create overwhelm which stops you, unless you learn to talk your way through whatever is keeping you from trying something new. Talk to yourself…the dog will never tell!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx