Agenda: a list or plan of things to be done; an idea of what we think we want. The agendas in our lives often set us up for overwhelm…and overwhelm blocks our joy!
Some agendas are necessary. Those agendas which help us keep life organized and running smoothly are important to us. The agendas which we need to uncover and surrender, are those which we adopt unconsciously. They’re the agendas which we may not even realize we have. They are the ones which don’t help us, serve us, or complete us. They’re the agendas which keep us feeling inadequate and ineffectual. They overwhelm us, and they block our joy.
Hidden agendas show up in a multitude of disguises, and unless we have a goal to look for them, and weed them out, we may not even know they exist, or that they are contributing to overwhelm.
Sometimes these agendas appear in our self talk. Have you ever spoken these words to yourself?
- What’s wrong with me?
- I’ll never measure up
- I just can’t get it together
- Why can’t I do this?
- I’m a failure
If you often feel frustrated by these feelings, you could have a popular hidden agenda…perfectionism, a personal standard which involves a high degree of proficiency, excellence, or skill. The demands you make of yourself are higher than you would expect of others.
Your agenda of perfectionism may be full blown, or you could have just enough operating to keep you from the joy you deserve, and the joy you’ve earned!
I often volunteer with a personal development group which includes some teenagers and young adults. I always come away marveling at how much I learn from them. Personally, I think many young people today have amazing depth. What I’m most impressed with is their intention to be authentic.
The great poet, Kahlil Gibran, gave us instruction about younger people when he said, “You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.” Those authentic young people often remind me they are more focused on being true to themselves, and living up to their own expectations, than many of my peers.
If we are caught up in perfectionism, we are operating in a standard which we and others have set for ourselves, and we can be our own worst enemy. The perfectionism standard is operating when we:
- Frequently compare ourselves to others
- Assume that people are judging us for not being enough
- Feel others don’t know us as our true selves
We’re not loving ourselves, and we’re not being authentic. Self love and authenticity are synergistic. The interaction of the combined elements produces a total effect that is greater than the individual elements.
What one thing can you do for yourself today which will demonstrate being true to you?
Take the time to get quiet and still, and check with your heart.
Make a joy choice to be the real, adorable, valuable, natural, authentic you!
The real you is important to this planet…and by the way, I love the real you!
Joy & Blessings, Carole xx