I just read a Good Health column in my local newspaper, The Sun Sentinel, by Dr Paul Donahue, MD.  I have long liked the practicality and comprehensive nature of Dr Donahue’s approach.  I’ve read and clipped many articles in which he gives solutions which aren’t based only in traditional medical knowledge.

Recently a reader asked Dr Donahue about exercising to lose weight.  He replied, “45 minutes of brisk walking at least 4 times a week takes off 18 pounds in 1 year, and walking those 3 hours a week lowers the risk of heart attack and stroke by 40%.”

Dr Donahue got my attention.

I’m so busy focusing on getting my stuff done, I don’t always take time to do what I need to do to stay healthier.  I love walking, and I have some great places to walk nearby.  I also have wonderful neighbors and a husband who like to walk.

I have no excuse to keep me from adding regular walking to my health practices.

Here’s what I love about Dr Donahue the most.  In the article, “Brisk Walking Helps You Lose That Weight,” he ends by sharing a tip to prevent boredom and increase calorie burning.  He says, “Walk fast for 90 seconds, slow down for 90 seconds, and continue the pattern for the walk.”

Note to Dr Donahue:  You hit a nerve.

I can make the time, but I sometimes get bored when I’m walking.

I find myself hurrying up good practices so I can get my other stuff done that day.  That feeling of boredom could be coming from not being fully present in my walking.  Anytime we’re not fully present in the task at hand, we create stress and overwhelm.

I need ways to stay present while I’m enjoying the walk.  I’ll be working on that!

Read more about Dr Donahue at:

http://kingfeatures.com/features/columns-a-z/to-your-good-health/

We’re big Dr Oz fans in our house.  I record every episode so my husband and I can watch it together.

Why?  We are 2 information junkies who just can’t get enough of the good stuff he shares on his show!  The Dr Oz Show has the latest and best information on living a healthy, balanced, and productive life in a fun and joy filled format.

This week I caught a great episode when Dr Oz discussed ways to bust your bad mood.  He talked about the aging body bouncing back less quickly from stress and overwhelm as decades roll by.  He said the limbic system of the brain (which always gets my attention) reacts to stress by secreting chemicals which cause the adrenal glands to create stress hormones.  These stress hormones cause huge changes in the body, and they can affect everything from high blood pressure to weight gain.  He went on to say one of the things we can do to counteract stress is we should all vent a little!  He recommended swearing to keep from stuffing the stress…no kidding!

There are several great reasons I refer to my CaroleBryant.com site as Conscious Choice & Connection.   One  reason is my mind has a tendency to see the connection in many things.  I’ve come to peace with my connections and synchronicities, because they are a great help in my writing and my self expression.

So when Dr Oz was talking about swearing, my mind immediately connected to my dear friend, Georgi, who is a flight attendant for a major airline.  Georgi is one of the most lovable people I know, and she is also known for saying what she thinks…which I won’t go into here because of spam restraints.  She happens to manage stress and overwhelm as well as anyone I know, so I know Dr Oz is onto something!

The next connection my brain made was my career as a flight attendant.  My first thought about that time of my life was how many times I saw flight attendants be unable to talk back to passengers.  As a result, I believe their stuffing their own feelings, contributed to the anxiety, the stress, and even the weight gain which crept in through many years of flying.

I had been a flight attendant and also an in-flight coordinator, supervising, coordinating,  and dealing with the logistics, variables, and occasional emergencies of crew, passengers, and agents.  (I talk about this experience in “Meet Carole” on http://www.CaroleBryant.com )

I certainly stuffed my share of stress and overwhelm.  My saving grace was not so much swearing, as I did do privately when the need arose, but in learning to incorporate stress busters into my life.  During the years I was flying, I was also making a conscious choice to learn methods to reduce anxiety;  the attitudinal training, the personal development, the pastoral counseling, and life coaching trainings which were creating methods to help me become a calmer and more peaceful me.

When I retired from flying, I continued what I call my lifetime learning, and soon began writing.  My life was less stressful, and I was very happy…until I suddenly hit bottom.  As I describe in “Meet Carole,” I had unknowingly reached a tipping point which resulted in huge anxiety and depression.  I was dealing with elements I couldn’t control or even influence.  I stopped sleeping, connecting with others, and my whole world as I had known it ended.

Later, through doctors and therapists, I was told I had childhood post traumatic stress disorder which had been triggered.  It appeared that it was finally safe for me to face it, and so, I methodically set out to try to fix it.  That journey was a roller coaster of emotions for me and my loved ones.

One day, through amazing synchronicity, I read some old notes on a method of forgiveness which I had been taught and had used for many years.  This method of forgiveness, which is compatible with neuroscience of today, is based in the ancient language of Aramaic.  It is a practical and psychological way to create healthy attitudes and relieve stress.  I had used it to manage my stress on every flight I took.  In fact, I feel I had packed this life changing method of forgiveness in the roller board suitcase I pulled along behind me on every trip.

For so many years, I had employed this method of forgiveness to help me cancel so much stress and overwhelm related to anger, related to actions of others which I had no control over, to keep my loving attitudes while others around me acted out.  On this day of synchronicity, words on an old copy of my forgiveness steps jumped out at me.  I suddenly saw what I had never been able to see before.  I saw the words: “Forgiveness for anger and fear.”

That day, I began using the steps of forgiveness to cancel what was causing my fear and resulting in the manifestation of PTSD symptoms.  Overnight I made progress.  Within a few days, I was more like my old confident self.  Within weeks, I was a new person…better than before, having learned a lot, and as we say in this formula for forgiveness, “able to see the good in the person or the situation.”

I share this formula for forgiveness on my website at why-forgive.html, because I want everyone to have it.

Thanks, Dr Oz.  I appreciate you and all you do.  I appreciate your intentions in the world.  Keep shining on us!

Read the whole article about busting bad moods on The Dr Oz show website which inspired this article:

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-ozs-foolproof-fixes-bust-your-bad-mood?page=2#copy

Stay connected!

Joy & Blessings,

Carole  xx

If you’re like millions of other stressed and overwhelmed women, you’re feeling this almost every morning of your life.

Everything speaks to us.

The condition called overwhelm is here to show you something…something you need to hear.

What contributes to your overwhelm?  What makes you feel overcome in mind or feeling, a sense of helplessness, a feeling of being overloaded?

Overwhelm is epidemic.  It seems to be unavoidable, and it has a distinctive feel. Overwhelm feels like you can’t catch up or relax, that you don’t get enough done, and you don’t feel satisfied.

So why do you have it?  You’re a person who works hard to do all you can for others, to do your best in life, to be loving and caring to those around you.  You’re a giver, but sometimes you beat yourself up, because you can’t give enough.

There’s always  a little fear tickling your brain that you’re forgetting or neglecting something.

You try to cope by creating more schedules, making more lists, organizing, eliminating , or controlling what you can.

You create more rigid agendas for yourself and others.

You don’t like most of the agendas you create, and neither does anybody else.

What choices does your overwhelm offer you?  You don’t think you can change it.  After all, it’s a combination of so many things you don’t have any control over.  You can decide to just live with it. 

You can accept overwhelm as a way of life in our warp speed world.

You can keep doing what you’re doing.  But wait a minute!  Isn’t that what Einstein may be most famous for in our culture today, his definition of insanity? Continuing to do what you’re doing and expecting change?

Overwhelm shows up to say you can’t take any time off, and you can’t ever follow your own dreams.  And yes, overwhelm shows up in those rigid agendas that nobody can live with.  You’re making everyone around you insane, too!

This is your wake up call!  The overwhelm call you’re getting is saying, “You’re worth it, you deserve something better in life, you deserve to enjoy your life!”

You give so much to so many…what about you?  Isn’t it time for you to create a brand new way of living your own life?

The opposite of overwhelm, is an awakening of a natural state of joy.

Always remember overwhelm is not in your house or career.  It’s not in the number of things you must get done everyday.

Overwhelm is in your spirit, and you are the only one who can make a difference for yourself.

Begin consciously creating more  joy in your life.  Wake up and open your eyes.

Joy & Blessings,
Carole  xx

Click on the link below to listen to this audio from NPR:
Overwhelmed Working Moms

Next:  Click the link below to find out if you have overwhelm:

Overwhelm CheckUp

Then check out the other posts on
overwhelm on this  http://CaroleBryant.com  website…
and while you’re there, sign up for
free Joy Notes emails and a free ebook: Joy Connection: What Makes Your Connectable!

I’m glad you’re here…look around…and come back soon!

Joy & Blessings,
Carole  xx

The emotions of anger, fear, or shame often create uncomfortable feelings, and build anxiety.  Sometimes these uncomfortable feelings can lead to a more uncomfortable mood.  We instinctively realize that if we can avoid the feelings coming from the emotions, we may avoid the mood.  Too often we look for an experience or a behavior to block our uncomfortable feelings.

Why do you crave a dessert just after discovering you’ve gained weight?  Why do you feel the desire to go shopping when your credit card is over the limit?  Though these behaviors are the last ones you should choose, your brain is simply trying to lessen the stress you feel when you discover that something is not the way you want it.

Humans, and some animals, use behaviors to block uncomfortable feelings.  You may recognize one or more of these blocking behaviors, and you may also have some of your very own:

• Eating
• Sleeping
• Drinking
• Shopping
• Computing
• Texting
• Working
• Drugging
• Exercising
• Giving
• Busyness
• Cleaning

Blocking behaviors don’t just block uncomfortable feelings, some bring you pleasure and satisfaction when your brain’s neurotransmitters release dopamine.  The problem with some of these behaviors is that they can also block your joy.  When you combine some of these behaviors, you create a state of overwhelm.  Check a dictionary for overwhelm, and you’ll often find the antonym, the opposite of overwhelm, is joy.

Overwhelm occurs when we become overcome in feeling or in mind, and it affects most of us at some time in our lives.  When we reach a state of overwhelm, our first reaction is to create rigid agendas.

An agenda is a plan or list to be acted on, something we think we want.  Most of our agendas include plans to simplify, organize, eliminate, dictate, or control.  We think our agendas can stop our overwhelm, but our agendas make it worse.  When we put our agendas into place, we begin operating in our heads, rather than in our hearts.

Now we’re in a vicious circle.  When we allow ourselves to stay in our heads, we are keeping ourselves overwhelmed to once again avoid our feelings.  Some of these feelings we are avoiding could be lack of worth, sadness, loneliness, fear, or anger.  We keep ourselves so unfeeling and busy that we lose our joy.

To escape overwhelm and get our joy back, we need an action plan to become aware of the effects and causes of our own agendas.  When we learn how to maintain loving attitudes of mind towards others, our source, and ourselves, we can reconnect with our heart, our feelings, and our joy.

Are your agendas taking over your life?  Are your friends and family feeling that you are more and more rigid and inflexible?  You may be blocking your joy with overwhelm.  Your choice is to come back to operating in heart, and to reconnect with your own deepest values.

http://Surrender Your Agenda: Finding Your Life Purpose is a focused 12 session audio course for women who want to get the joy back in life.

Joy & Blessings,  Carole  xx

Most of the world’s women are overwhelmed.  Overwhelm can destroy your joy, and overwhelm can waste your life.  How does your overwhelm affect you and affect those you love?

If you’re like most women in the world:

• You can’t catch up with all you have to do
• You don’t get any real relaxation
• You seldom feel you are doing enough
• You feel powerless to stop the increasing demands on you
• You are frustrated, sad, and angry with your life’s direction

As a woman you are set up to be overwhelmed because of the unique factors you deal with: Your commitment to your family, your work inside and outside the home, your caring for others, the world’s message of what you should be, and your lack of time and energy.

Check the list below to see which factors describe you.  Many of your symptoms may be a result of overwhelm.  Some symptoms attributed to other factors may be increased by overwhelm.  If you experience 3 or more symptoms, you could greatly benefit from lowering your stress:

• EXHAUSTION
• ANGER
• LOSS OF HUMOR
• SLEEPING PROBLEMS
• FRUSTRATION
• CRANKINESS
• RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
• WEIGHT PROBLEMS
• RESENTMENTS
• LOSS OF SEXUAL INTEREST
• DISCOURAGEMENT
• LACK OF FOCUS
• HEALTH ISSUES
• SADNESS
• HOPELESSNESS

Overwhelm does not go away on its own, and it can get worse.  So how can you lose the overwhelm, and get your life back?  How can you control your stress and overwhelm and bring joy back into your life?  Any real change begins with an understanding of what is causing overwhelm and a course of action.

Overwhelm can occur in life when 3 feelings are present:

1. Not being able to feel a sense of accomplishment no matter how hard you work
2. Feeling helpless to stop the factors that are causing overwhelm
3. Feeling hopeless and feeling despair knowing that you do not see relief in your future

If you are overwhelmed now, you may react by creating more and more agendas and plans to control it.  You may be trying to organize, eliminate, communicate, and dictate to keep it away.  You may have become a person you don’t want to be.  You may have lost your ability to share and connect with your family and friends.  Your head is running your heart.  You may be filling yourself up with busyness to maintain a sense of worth.

What’s the cure for overwhelm and what heals a life which is overloaded, overtired, overstressed, and overcome?  A realization that your overwhelm is not in your career or home, but in your own spirit, that part of you which needs to feel purpose, fulfillment, and joy.  To do that you must connect to your deepest values and your true loving self.  You can move from overwhelm to joy when you surrender your agendas and let your heart rule.

Joy & Blessings, Carole  xx

Her elderly mom, who lives alone in another city, was having some challenges.  My friend had been planning to visit her in a few weeks, but was feeling she should leave earlier than originally planned.  She had received a report from a brother who lived nearby her mom.

My friend needed to talk about the situation.  She was working through her options, and her deepest feelings about what she should do.  We spent several minutes going over the situation, and she became clearer.  Just talking about the situation to someone who cared helped her get more clarity about her real feelings.

We all have a lot to do, often causing us to multitask, and to give half attention and effort to many of the routine things we do everyday.  We move through things on our lists rapidly, often looking ahead to where we need to focus next.  We may not remember something significant at the end of a day, if we haven’t completely connected to it.  This is the very definition of overwhelm, the very absence of peace or understanding.

In Surrender Your Agenda: Finding Your Life Purpose, a course I developed for stressed and overwhelmed women, one of the most important choices which I encourage everyone to make is that of being fully present wherever you are, and in whatever you are doing throughout the day.

When we are fully present we make a real connection to others and to ourselves.  Being fully present defeats much of the overwhelm and stress of our lives, because it allows us to let our minds rest from everything else while we are engaged in what we are doing.  Our attitude of mind actually changes when we focus in on what is important for us to prioritize in the moment.  When we are present with a situation, a task, or a person our perception is focused on our purpose right here, right now.

We all spend lots of time and energy on the gifts we give to others during the holidays, or for birthdays, or other special occasions.  Becoming fully present with the living beings in your life is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them.  Who in your life would receive great benefit from a deep and conscious connection to you?  Several people may come to mind immediately.  I would suggest to you  everyone in your life would receive benefits from your being fully present in your interaction with them, no matter how short that interaction may be.

We now know multitasking is seldom effective.  The brain cannot truly focus on several tasks simultaneously, and resorts to focusing in sequentially short attentions to each task involved.   The greatest argument against multitasking is it keeps us from fully experiencing  the living beings who give meaning and purpose to our life.

Take the time to be connected to the living beings in your life.  Bring yourself back to the moment whenever you notice you are slipping into another time or place.  Give the gift of your presence to others.  Take the time to acknowledge the people who cross your path.  They are your teachers, as you are theirs.

One of the greatest joys in life is real connection to others.  It is a gift.  You can change your habit of multi-tasking by choosing to be fully present in each moment.  You change your habits by creating new intention and purpose.

Take the time today to express real feelings to someone, to understand someone, to be quiet with someone, to support someone, to hold a hand, to laugh together, to share the moment.  Live your life fully and consciously.  Give your gift of presence to others and to yourself.  Give yourself.

Joy & Blessings, Carole  xx

Our emotional brains react to anything quicker than our thinking brains. Daniel Goleman, one of my great mentors, says this jumping to conclusions is part of our most primitive survival response. It can sometimes go into overload and be involved in creating more  overwhelm and stress for us.

Jumping to conclusions is caused by more than a simple brain reaction. We take ourselves too seriously!  This is where anger and fear attitudes can generate.  I’m being polite.  We fall into the very human trap of believing our own thinking is the only reality, and are surprised when overwhelm and lack of connection to others results!

A great truth that someone shared with me, sometime, somewhere: “Two or more people have greater access to the truth.”We all need healthy feedback, and we need other loving people to give it to us. Loving feedback is one of the greatest gifts we humans give each other.  If we don’t get this exchange with others, we start to believe our own stuff!  Believing our own stuff is not pretty, and it’s not good for us or for others.

A close friend, who gives great feedback by the way, sent me a hilarious link to one of the funniest men of all time, Bob Newhart.  Take the time to watch this video, and be prepared to laugh out loud.  I’m giving you the link at the end of this post.

Laughing is so important for us.  It works magic on our mind, our body, and our spirit. It builds a stronger immune system, and exercises the heart.  It even changes the autonomic nervous system, alters stress hormones and neurotransmitter levels (the substances we need to transmit nerve impulses.) If we can laugh at ourselves and take ourselves less seriously, we will be a healthier person, in mind, body, and spirit.

Norman Cousins, in 1976, wrote a great book about the effects of laughter on the health of the body.  Check out, “Anatomy of an Illness,” especially if you have chronic pain.

Make a Joy Choice for yourself.  Start taking several breaks during the day to regenerate yourself.  Do what you have to do to remember….put up reminders, set an alarm…but do it! Overwhelm and stress relief is not just about being quiet, meditating, praying, but also about being a natural animal, laughing and having fun, and interacting with others, even getting some loving feedback.

• Put some laughter in a break…you know how
• Talk to a supportive friend or partner…share thoughts and feelings and listen to another’s view
• Be silly by yourself, with others, with your pet
• Get out of your head and into your heart in your own way

“Believe Your Own Stuff?” (video link for next time you’re being too serious with yourself!)

Joy & Blessings,  Carole  xx

A few years ago, it was estimated that world knowledge was doubling approximately every 6 months.  Now the rate at which knowledge increases in the world has sped up to warp speed.  We can’t even begin to estimate how much information exists today.  It’s no wonder that we’re all struggling with information overwhelm.

When you stop to consider the number of ways we receive information, it’s easy to become overwhelmed.  Computers, television, radio, newspapers, videos, movies, magazines are only a small portion of what we can expect to hear from every day.  We still toss tons of paper that comes to us from marketers and mailings.

What causes real information overwhelm?  It results from not having a goal to guard against the confusion of too much information.  When we are not sure if we actually need most of the info that comes our way, we become confused.  When we never have time to process the huge amounts of info we receive our minds refuse.  Confusion results in refusion.

When I was in high school, a slightly older girlfriend offered to take me shopping for school clothes.  She taught me something I never forgot.  I was a teenager who was naturally impulsive…that is, I didn’t have any goals in place to keep me focused on what I really needed or wanted.  She said, “Less is more…choose carefully, and pay real attention to what you select.  Make sure that everything you select is right for you, and you’ll enjoy them that much more.”  She was teaching me about conscious choice.  This was very different than my habit of letting things choose me.

Choose wisely from the information that comes your way every day.  Be selective.  Where are you allowing information to choose you and overwhelm you?  You know that your brain will refuse to assimilate too much.  Be selective in what you allow in.  Value this ability to make conscious choice.

The very best solution is to stop all imput of information for a short time each day.  Spend some quiet time without any sound, and without any information coming to you from the outside world.  Allow yourself this time to process your thoughts, your ideas, and your feelings.  Concentrate on your breathing.  Be centered in the information within your own beingness, within your own spirit.  Breathe, and enjoy the air, and the beauty of nature.  Share energy with your pet.  Give yourself space to know who you are.

Take time to be still, to be quiet, and to hear your own heart.

Joy & Blessings,  Carole  xx